i just want to be a cat in late spring. because then i could just sit in the sun and blink slowly and maybe chase a bug. i think that’s what we all want
Dr Doolittle-style show about a detective who can talk to animals, except instead of talking like people the animals still talk like animals, just translated into English sentences, so the plot of most episodes centres around trying to figure out what the star witness testimony actually means.
Victim’s murder was witnessed by her pet snake, whose tank was in the room. Unfortunately pet snake is incapable of describing the world around them except in terms of ‘rocks’ and 'meat’, with their descriptions of individual forms of 'meat’ focusing almost entirely on body temperature and smell.
(Solved when it turns out that their description of 'warm-cold meat with rock’ was actually an attempt to describe a suspect with a prosthetic limb, which is pretty unnoticeable to a human, but looks dramatically different in infrared.)
Murder at a honey farm. Each witness managed to see about ~0.06% of the full crime, in order to get the full picture, you have to get them to swarm.
Victim was found several days after death, already crawling with maggots. Days into the investigation, protag begins a frantic search to find any surviving maggots/flies that were on the corpse, after realising that how the victim tasted would give vital information about the poison used.
Also there’s at least one or two animals who actually do talk in full sentences and in terms humans can understand, and the reason behind this is never fully explained.
All cats in this universe talk in terms of 'mine/not-mine’ and mainly focus on territory, mates and food, with the one exception of the main character’s cat who is named Watson and knows how to use sarcasm.
All insects speak in one word sentences where everything is 'food’, 'enemy’ or (for hive insects) 'friend’ and 'queen’, with the exception of seven-spotted ladybirds specifically, who for some reason speak in full English sentences and are up to date and knowledgeable about world events. The protagonists is as concerned by the full implications of this as you are.
Crows are highly knowledgeable and erudite. They are also jerks.
new star trek idea: aliens not knowing jack shit about earth animals. riker has to physically restrain worf from fighting a bear. janeway watches lovingly as tuvok cradles a duck in his arms. odo sees a blobfish and has a spiritual experience. kira fights a nile crocodile thinking it’s dukat. spock represses the urge to simply Hold a penguin.
Worf was raised by a human family, he wants to fight the bear because hes russian
One of my roommates cannot stand the way I play minecraft
Instead of looking for diamonds, fighting mobs, trying to go to the nether, doing potions/enchantments/whatever, I like to build these 1-block-wide platforms far above the ground that i walk on to explore without getting lost, attacked or generally inconvenienced. And they hate it
“If you don’t want to get lost just use a compass!” Takes redstone. Also I don’t want to. And on the ground there’s mobs
“Fight the mobs, they’re part of the game!” no. I get scared
“Just use mine carts!” And use all that iron?
“Then use boats and ice!” You need enchantments to collect ice. All my paths take is dirt and ladders (and torches)
